Still (Poem)

Still    tonight
My thoughts in flight.
A quiet contradiction.
My mind at peace.
I lie and rest   my thoughts ever changing
The more they stay the same the more it changes still.
Between the space of thought only two things exist
Whether one for the other and their respective places on Earth.
I hope for a resolution  I hope for the best still
I hope for the end of the storm   I hope for still
I strive for still but if I run it gets away
Still is the place I want to be.
Still is the calm I wish would envelop me.
Peace, it finds me, though a little the worse for wear
The storm it's nearly destroyed me, but I am still mostly there.
Hope I cling to   in the middle of the night
Hope I embrace you   And you smile a little too.
I wink and you laugh, hope,   that I haven't abandoned you yet.
The still is your friend    and we are all associates at last.
I was stupid then, and maybe more so now
Because I know the pitfalls of your pathways now
And walk down the hallway still.
Still will happen again, I steel myself for the onset
Of doubt that I steal    From insecurity I learn
From bitterness I burn   A lack of doubt is a poverty for which I yearn.
Doubt that I stamp out   Pride and joy that I earn.
Finally faced with peace I hardly know what to do
So I only start to hope again   And my troubles again are through.