Saturday, June 30, 2012

A little better

Reading three books in three days and starting on a fourth the fourth day, but slept mostly today.

Trying to avoid thinking about things in life, trying to get lost in the words.

Some of the books help a bit with the life thing, but they serve to remind that there are things to be solved.

Not problems, really, I don't really want to call them that, but things that need a solution

Or that I want there to be a solution to.

Maybe there are no solutions to some things, and they are just how they are.

Things only have the power you give them, whether it is a broken heart or a broken sword.

I read that in a comic book sometime about a decade ago. I've read a lot of those.

The books I read now, or at least in the last few days, have been "book" books, though.

They take a little longer to read than comic books. I can read a 22-page comic in 2 to 8 minutes, depending on the story.

You can take your time and enjoy it, and I do, but once you've read a few hundred of them, you're able to even process the information in a comic book at breakneck speed.

I tried to count the number of comic books I had read in my lifetime before. It's definitely in the hundreds and may even be in the thousands.

After I read, or after I watch a movie, those things I don't want to think about are still there. Even when I write sometimes, those issues are still there.

I'm not sure I can call them issues, but things I'm thinking about, things that even now are on the edge of my mind, but I don't want to think about.

My life is only what I've made it right now, but I'm going to make it different.

I certainly can't say that it's bad, but there are things I am going to change.

The world wasn't created overnight, though, and neither will my life be changed in a day.

There are things I can change, though, and now.

Attitude is one thing a person can change, though I've always had a great one of those.

I think I am generally happy, but there are things that have happened lately that I let make me less so.

Notice I didn't say the things that happened made me less happy, because I control that.

It's a fallacy to let yourself become upset, but humans having fallacies is what makes them human.

I don't strive for perfection; I only want to make myself a little better.

Friday, June 29, 2012

You Gotta Love Someone

"You can win the fight
You can grab a piece of the sky
You can break the rules
But before you try

You gotta love someone
You gotta love someone.

You can stop the world,
Steal the face from the moon
You can beat the clock
But before high noon

You gotta love someone
You gotta love someone

...

You can cheat the devil
And slice a piece of the sun
Burn up the highway
But before you run

You gotta love someone
You gotta love someone.

...

You can win the fight
You can grab a piece of the sky
You can break the rules
But before you try

You gotta love someone
You gotta love someone."

From Elton John's "You Gotta Love Someone"

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Optimism Renewal

I had a renewing experience today. I was having some issues in my life (the details aren't important) and I found myself complaining about the state of life in general. I felt like I couldn't be alone with my thoughts and there was no where for me to go to be in a quite place.

I was trying to read a book and I decided to go outside. I was trying to finish a book in a day, something I had done before, but I had been struggling with reading quickly lately. I'm generally a fairly fast reader, but I felt like I had been in a funk and things weren't going right lately. Some things were going right, but I felt a kind of two-steps-back syndrome of progress about the things that were going right. Sometimes realizing you are going about something wrong can be a momentarily debilitating experience.

Well, I'm reading the book, and feeling generally upset about finding a quiet place to read, and feeling generally unhappy, when I came upon a quote by Abraham Lincoln in the book I was reading. "Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be." I just had to smile and look at the quote. It was exactly what I needed to hear and read.

I kept reading and continued to read until the sun was going down and until I couldn't see anymore. I kept reading and thought of all the things that were right in my life, as well as the obstacles that other people faced in their life, stories that I was provided by the very book I was trying to finish. I have heard and even experienced finding exactly what you needed, but this was a cool aspect of synchronicity. It just fell into place exactly as I needed it to.

I did finish the book within 24 hours (actually I finished within 8 hours, including taking a nap even) and it was just the book I needed, too.