What's my Age Again? (Blog)

What is it that you're sure you'll never forget about being this age, or an age of your choice?


I think I try to forget my age. It's there, I know it, but I don't want to think about it. I'm 34, but I don't even know what that means. Should I feel old? Because I usually don't. I think I will remember turning 30 maybe, but just because I was worried about it. After it happened, there were some good things that happened that let me know that it wasn't the end of the world. 


I write a lot about mellowing out, and you have to. Yes, again, I'm not perfect. I get angry and frustrated. But nowhere near like I used to. Not even close.


I remember being 17 and angry at life. I remember being 21 even, and frustrated. It felt so good when I started to realize that I didn't have to be like that all of the time. But now, things are good. There are things I would change about my youth, but I like where I'm at. There are things I would change about me now, and I am and can, but I'm happy.


I would say my memory is changing, but I don't want to say I'm losing my memory. I do still remember things, lots of things, but I'm learning that not everything is important to remember. I've read so much lately about memory being this imperfect thing that it almost seems silly to rely so much on memory. You don't remember things exactly as they happened. 


I do enjoy being told that I don't look my age, though, and I don't. I'm not trying to be vain or anything, it's just true. I suppose it will catch up to me some day, and there are times now I don't even get carded for 21 and over type things, but I still get mistaken for younger. 


I think I do remember a time not too long before my last birthday when someone had my age pegged almost exactly right. It felt a little disappointing to have someone guess close to my exact age. It was a woman who was older than me, so maybe she was just good at guessing from personalities is what I told myself.


I like the age I'm at. Again, I like where I'm at. It could be better, yes, but this is a good time for me.  


This post is for The Scintilla Project.