Uneven Odds of Winning (Blog)

You can't beat yourself up for doing stupid things, but sometimes you just feel like an idiot. I was hanging out with my brother tonight and he was going to buy some lottery tickets, because of course the jackpot is up to a trillion dollars (or something like that), and I asked him to get me some tickets. Of course, if I had won I would be ecstatic, but what are the odds of that?

I didn't go crazy by any means. I spent less than $10 on some tickets, but still. I make fun of people who buy scratch off tickets every week and here I am doing what they do. I know the odds are bad and I see people every week who waste their money on these games. If you have fun with it, I don't judge, but for me, it is wasteful. I have never thought that it was worth it. Again, it's not a lot of money, but think what I could have done with that money? I could have bought a book, or lunch tomorrow, or paid for part of a movie.

I'm not distraught by any means, but I am embarrassed for myself. I let the possibility of winning money cloud my previous judgment that told me that buying these tickets is just not worth it. At least for me it's not. It was fun for a minute to think I might win something, but then that feeling was followed by the crushing realization that I would never see that money again.

I wonder if people who play regularly get this feeling, too. Maybe it is fun for them, or why else would they play it? I'm not putting myself on a pedestal over this, because I have less than constructive activities that I can't stop doing myself (web surfing, karaoke, and television come to mind). I think it comes back to moderation and control. In regards to my addictive activities, I feel better if I'm writing a blog or reading scholarly articles when surfing the web than if I'm looking at funny pictures of penguins or watching silly Youtube videos. Same with t.v.: if I'm watching something really cool or instructive, a really good movie, or a documentary maybe, I feel like I'm wasting my time less than if I'm watching Ice Loves Coco on the E! Channel.

It would be nice to disconnect and just be by myself for a while, at least just a few hours. I could just lay down in bed or on a couch and read a book. I think the lottery ticket buyer might like to not play for a week, too. It could be as stressful for them as it was for me tonight, wondering every week if you are a winner, checking numbers, and starting all over again if you don't win. I would like to say I won't ever buy a ticket again, but I really can't say that. Maybe when I start to feel the urge, I'll read my own advice here.