GCOT

I'm jumping ahead a little bit, but this is another segment from Gothic Constellation of Thanatos.

One day at Susanna’s, she has another visitor. When this large man enters the house, she gets very excited.

“Ethan!” she screams, “Why, come in!”

“I am in, mother,” the large man says quietly. He is tall and almost as wide as the door, but not plump like his mother. Ethan looks like an athlete. He’s wearing a blue and red outfit with a badge and insignia. I quickly learn that he’s a policeman of sorts from the city.

“Oh, tell me how you’ve been! You’ve been safe haven’t you? No dangerous raids or fights? I always worry about you, but I know you can take care of yourself, but you know how I worry.” Susanna is even more talkative than usual with her son.

“Nothing much to talk about, Mom.” Ethan is quiet compared to his mother, but then almost anyone is quiet compared to her. He barely says anything to all of her many questions.

Susanna eventually runs out of questions and goes in the kitchen to prepare dinner and also to prepare Ethan a place to sleep. I’m eventually left alone with him. I take the opportunity to talk with someone who’s actually been to the nearby city I’ve heard so much about.

“What’s it like in the city?” I ask casually.

“What does a little girl like you care for the city?” He seems unusually cruel compared to the way he was acting around his mother. “It’s dangerous,” he continues, “Criminals own the streets and little girls like you are prey for monsters. The stores and houses are locked tight at night and no one goes out after dark if they don’t have to.” He must see the fear in my eyes, because he adds an explanation to his warning. “I hide the truth from mother, but there’s no sense in lying to you. The city is not a place you want to go to.”

            Of course, after this conversation, I want to go the city even more. It’s a forbidden place now that I had been warned against it. Ethan visits every once in a while after our first meeting. I’m hanging clothes outside one day and he approaches quietly. I’m startled as he starts talking. “What are they teaching you? You’ll be a matron in the woods like my mother. Can you even take care of yourself at all?” His cruelty seems out of place. As far as I knew, he hardly knew me at all. I’ve stopped what I’m doing and he is standing in front of me now.

            “Just try to hit me,” he commands. “Go ahead.” I hesitate, thinking him to be a bit of a bully at this point, but then I do as he asks and try to hit him. He easily dodges the blow and simultaneously trips me to the ground.

“Pathetic,” he says. “And you think you would survive in the city. You have to strike with speed and force, like this!” He hits me in the stomach before I can move. I fall over out of breath and near tears. I’m a third his size, but he doesn’t seem to be holding back.

            “Stand up, now!” he says. He seems to soften for a second. “Don’t be afraid, but get up and try again.” After I catch my breath, I get up and try to hit him again, but he simply moves out of the way again. “Ha! That was better, though. Maybe there is fight in you.”

            “Ethan, what are you doing?!?” Susanna screams as she discovers us sparring. “Stop roughhousing with Vanessa and let her work.” Ethan turns to go inside, but whispers to me as he leaves.

“You’re soft now, but there is hope. If you really do want to go the city, you’ll need a lot more lessons in taking care of yourself.”

            At home in my room, I practice trying to punch quickly like I had seen Ethan doing. I really did want to go into the city and maybe I was soft like he said. I imagine his cruel, quiet voice as I fall to sleep.

. . .

When I see Ethan a few days later, I had not forgotten our talk. “Hey, little domestic girl,” he says walking up to me.

            “I’m not a little girl!” I object. I try to hit him again right where he’s standing, but I still couldn’t touch him as he trips me again.

“Ha ha!” he laughs at me. “You have to plant your feet.” This time I get right back up, though, and manage to hit him in the stomach, though he barely reacts.

            “Better!” he admits, “but try hitting a little harder than that if you can.” Before I can manage to celebrate this small victory, he trips me again and I’m on the ground. I’m almost crying again, but more from frustration than pain.

            “Oh, don’t cry! Who’s not a little girl now? If you really want to learn, I will teach you.”

            After our first few brief meetings, I start taking fighting lessons from him. We always tell his mother we’re going into the woods on a hike. Apparently, Ethan’s a hunter and naturalist, too, so this is a good cover story.

            As for the lessons themselves, I’m falling down more than I’m not. Ethan’s not very patient either, really.

            “Get up!” he yells. “That’s not going to cut it!” He usually only raises his voice when he’s away from his mother. It’s as if her constant chatter replaced his voice when he was around her. Maybe he was used to not being able to get a word in growing up with her.

            “I’m trying,” I say, “but you keep knocking me down!”

            “Then evade me,” he says, as if it’s as simple as breathing. For him I guess it is. I finally manage to dodge one of his blows and even manage a weak counterstrike.

            “You’ll have to do better than that, little girl.”

            I get mad at that and punch him on his hip as hard as I can.

            “Huh. Not bad.” I can tell he really is surprised and I’m happy for some small progress.