Talk about breaking someone else's heart, or having your own heart broken.
I'm afraid to write about this one, but I will do it anyway. Writing about having my own heart broken would be easy enough, but that doesn't affect me nearly as much as when I do it to someone else. Having my own heart broken has definitely happened to me before, but I get over it. That's a pain I can handle. But breaking someone else's heart is a special kind of pain. I don't know that I've ever done it too many times and there are times when you don't know you have. I'm going to try to write about a time when I might have.
I met a woman at my job a few years ago. I guess it's several years ago now that I think about it. I'm thinking it's close to a decade now that I really think about it. She was pretty. I flirted with her like I do. She made a point to come back and ask for my number I think, or maybe I asked for her number. Anyway, we started hanging out and I really got along with her. We went out several times. I even went to her church a time or two I think. I met her family. Things seemed to be going pretty good.
Then I stopped calling her. I can't even remember why I did. I remember it getting to a certain point and realizing that it had been too long and that I should. But I still didn't.
I know things were going well. I got along with her family and everything. I was scared probably. I think things were going too well. In my mind I saw the future laid out before me and it scared me. I saw what was coming next after what was happening then and it was frightening. And this was so irrational because I was projecting years into the future even, and I'm not even sure I was aware of it. It wasn't even close to being serious, but going to church and meeting family seemed pretty serious, or at least going in that direction.
I feel egotistical assuming I broke her heart, but there is a bit of a postscript to this. I found out from a friend that she had asked about me, and the two of them had a talk. I'm a narcissist about people having conversations about me, but it hurt to hear about this conversation a little bit. She told my friend that she thought I was scared off by her family. She didn't say much else, but it hurt me to hear this, because I didn't really know at the time the reason I had stopped calling her, but I didn't think it was because of her family. I really don't know what may have happened had I not stopped calling her. I talked to her at least one time after hearing that, but I probably made it worse since I didn't keep in touch after that either.
I was such a jerk in this, but it was mainly due to insecurity. I feel like it probably did work out for the best. I'm sure she's married by now, 'cause she was pretty cool and very pretty. I may not have broken her heart necessarily, but I was an idiot. There would have been a much better way to handle the end of it. I am a very nice guy usually, or I try to be, and I don't think I meant to start ignoring her like I did. Maybe she forgot about me quick after I stopped calling for a few days, but maybe not. My friend who talked to her that day, who knows me pretty well, seemed to think she wouldn't have been right for me, but I regret the way it went down.
Post is for The Scintilla Project.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Sequential Journey (Blog)
Write a list of 23. (23 things to do, 23 people you owe apologies to, 23 books you've lied about reading, 23 things you can see from where you're sitting, 23 ten-word hooks for stories you want to tell....)
I want to make a list of 23 comic books that I have strong memories of. I'm going to stream of consciousness, scatter plot, word association this list's order, so most have no more importance than the others. These are just 23 comics I've read and remember. (Edit: I wrote detailed descriptions for the first several, but I just listed the titles after number 8. I tend to go on about comics and didn't want to write a novel here.)
1.This one is more important to me than the others. Bone is one of my all-time favorite comic books. I was introduced to it in high school by a classmate. I started reading it around issue 15 or so and collected it after that. It's best described as Disney cartoon characters thrown into a Tolkien like mythical setting. It's funny, touching, and entertaining. It was difficult to wait for the installments sometimes, because each issue came out every three months at best. There may have been some issues that came out in two months time, but then there were times when it was closer to five months, too. But it was understandable because Jeff Smith did everything for the series. Everything. Most comic books have a publisher, letterer, inker, penciler, editor, and colorist (well Bone was originally published in black and white, but anyway...). Jeff Smith did everything for this book.
I try to read it all the way through every once in a while.
2. Preacher. I have yet to read the entire series, though I know the story well enough to know what happens at the end. It's not for kids, so don't give it to your 10-year old, but it's a wonderful example of what the genre is capable of. If you're not offended at some point, I would be surprised. It definitely has some controversial spots. Cassidy from the book would eat Edward Cullen for breakfast.
3. Marshall Law. I found some of these in 50 cent boxes at first, but slowly learned to appreciate that it was a steal for half a dollar. Again, this one's not for kids, but it pokes fun at the entire super-hero genre. Marshall Law hunts super-heroes down, but he's essentially one himself. It makes fun of you for reading it. Plus, his costume's just cool. I've never seen anyone do him for cosplay, but it would be cool.
4. X-Men. I can't really talk about comic books and not mention X-Men. This was my gateway drug to super-hero comics. Well, to being obsessed with them anyway. I read comics before this one, but I got waaaay into X-Men. I sold most of my collection not long after the first movie came out (I got way too little for them and I have bought a lot of them back strangely enough), but at that point I had purchased the comic new off the shelf for a little better than a hundred months. That wasn't even including the second title that was eventually released and that I also collected. It got to the point that I would buy the issues even if I didn't like the last one. I eventually had to stop because I knew that I wouldn't stop unless they stopped printing it, and at the time that didn't seem very likely. I picked it up again less than six months later, and that group of stories ended up being my favorite ever (Grant Morrison's 41 issue run).
Strangely enough, Uncanny X-Men actually did cease publication recently, though it was simply renumbered. Had I still been collecting every issue, I might have taken that as a cue to stop. Maybe.
5. Fantastic Four. I'm talking about the super-hero stuff now, but it was what got me into comics as a kid. Fantastic Four is still one of my favorites in super-hero stuff. The Thing and Alicia Masters was one of my first fictional romances I ever cared about.
6. Adam Warlock. Some of these are just twisted. I though of him because he was introduced in Fantastic Four. He has these dark and strange stories that are just bizarrely awesome. The morbid little teenager I was couldn't get enough of these, though I was reading them as reprints or back issues. Gamora was this sexy green girl, Thanos was this huge purple guy who had questionable morals (more on him in a bit), and Warlock was just depressed all the time. In order to save the universe from his future self (he was lost in an alternate dimension for 1,000 years and came out with an white afro and purple skin), Warlock goes forward in time to the moment before he gets lost in the dimension. He asks his future self if he knows why he's there and the future guy angrily says, "Of course I know," and proceeds to tell him that his life has become a living hell and he lost everyone he ever cared about, and that he welcomes death. So he kills him and then the next several issues are everything that the future guy said would happen happening. Then the last story is the past version coming back from this side of the event. Twisted.
7. Thanos from Warlock, Thanos Quest and Infinity Gauntlet. (Yes, originally from Iron Man of course.) This guy was my hero as a little goth kid. I didn't cheer for the heroes, I really cheered for him. He is so steeped in morbidness that he's almost a cliche. He worships Death his entire life. He kills his mother when he's a kid and makes it look like an accident because he's mad she brought him to life (this was one of the things I didn't see eye to eye with him on. That's your mom, dude.) Death appears before him as a woman and has him commit murder in her name. He gains the power of a god and snaps his fingers, instantly wiping out half the people in the universe. He does this all for her (well it's Death) and she kind of just shrugs.
Thanos had these bizarre theories about keeping the population of the universe down like deer populations or something. Again, it was so morbid, but even back then I saw it as a love story. Of course the heroes win and everything is fixed, including all of the people that died, but the point is he learned he couldn't please her even by becoming a god. At the end of the story, he's renounces death worshiping and becomes a farmer. It was a great ending, but of course the original story made so much money that there are 2 sequels.
8. Strangers in Paradise. This is another favorite that came out about the same time as Bone. I have read this entire series. It loses direction at spots, but it's such an emotionally charged story that you will remember it for a while. Highest recommendation. If you read this whole series and don't at least tear up a few times, I would raise my eyebrows at you a little.
9. Transformers.
10. Ultimate Spider-Man
11. Ghost World
12. Sin City
13. Watchmen
14. Persepolis
15. Maus
16. Superman/Madman Hullabaloo
17. Big Guy and Rusty the Robot
18. Gon
19. Batman
20. Crisis on Infinite Earths
21. Authority
22. Ultimates
23. Rasl.
24. Iron Man. I totally remembered Iron Man when I added the footnote about Thanos, so I'm extending the list by one. I've read maybe almost as many issues of Iron Man as X-Men. The movies get it totally right. By far the most accurate comic book to movie translation among super-hero movies. Ghost World is good, too, though it's different.
Post is part of The Scintilla Project.
I want to make a list of 23 comic books that I have strong memories of. I'm going to stream of consciousness, scatter plot, word association this list's order, so most have no more importance than the others. These are just 23 comics I've read and remember. (Edit: I wrote detailed descriptions for the first several, but I just listed the titles after number 8. I tend to go on about comics and didn't want to write a novel here.)
1.This one is more important to me than the others. Bone is one of my all-time favorite comic books. I was introduced to it in high school by a classmate. I started reading it around issue 15 or so and collected it after that. It's best described as Disney cartoon characters thrown into a Tolkien like mythical setting. It's funny, touching, and entertaining. It was difficult to wait for the installments sometimes, because each issue came out every three months at best. There may have been some issues that came out in two months time, but then there were times when it was closer to five months, too. But it was understandable because Jeff Smith did everything for the series. Everything. Most comic books have a publisher, letterer, inker, penciler, editor, and colorist (well Bone was originally published in black and white, but anyway...). Jeff Smith did everything for this book.
I try to read it all the way through every once in a while.
2. Preacher. I have yet to read the entire series, though I know the story well enough to know what happens at the end. It's not for kids, so don't give it to your 10-year old, but it's a wonderful example of what the genre is capable of. If you're not offended at some point, I would be surprised. It definitely has some controversial spots. Cassidy from the book would eat Edward Cullen for breakfast.
3. Marshall Law. I found some of these in 50 cent boxes at first, but slowly learned to appreciate that it was a steal for half a dollar. Again, this one's not for kids, but it pokes fun at the entire super-hero genre. Marshall Law hunts super-heroes down, but he's essentially one himself. It makes fun of you for reading it. Plus, his costume's just cool. I've never seen anyone do him for cosplay, but it would be cool.
4. X-Men. I can't really talk about comic books and not mention X-Men. This was my gateway drug to super-hero comics. Well, to being obsessed with them anyway. I read comics before this one, but I got waaaay into X-Men. I sold most of my collection not long after the first movie came out (I got way too little for them and I have bought a lot of them back strangely enough), but at that point I had purchased the comic new off the shelf for a little better than a hundred months. That wasn't even including the second title that was eventually released and that I also collected. It got to the point that I would buy the issues even if I didn't like the last one. I eventually had to stop because I knew that I wouldn't stop unless they stopped printing it, and at the time that didn't seem very likely. I picked it up again less than six months later, and that group of stories ended up being my favorite ever (Grant Morrison's 41 issue run).
Strangely enough, Uncanny X-Men actually did cease publication recently, though it was simply renumbered. Had I still been collecting every issue, I might have taken that as a cue to stop. Maybe.
5. Fantastic Four. I'm talking about the super-hero stuff now, but it was what got me into comics as a kid. Fantastic Four is still one of my favorites in super-hero stuff. The Thing and Alicia Masters was one of my first fictional romances I ever cared about.
6. Adam Warlock. Some of these are just twisted. I though of him because he was introduced in Fantastic Four. He has these dark and strange stories that are just bizarrely awesome. The morbid little teenager I was couldn't get enough of these, though I was reading them as reprints or back issues. Gamora was this sexy green girl, Thanos was this huge purple guy who had questionable morals (more on him in a bit), and Warlock was just depressed all the time. In order to save the universe from his future self (he was lost in an alternate dimension for 1,000 years and came out with an white afro and purple skin), Warlock goes forward in time to the moment before he gets lost in the dimension. He asks his future self if he knows why he's there and the future guy angrily says, "Of course I know," and proceeds to tell him that his life has become a living hell and he lost everyone he ever cared about, and that he welcomes death. So he kills him and then the next several issues are everything that the future guy said would happen happening. Then the last story is the past version coming back from this side of the event. Twisted.
7. Thanos from Warlock, Thanos Quest and Infinity Gauntlet. (Yes, originally from Iron Man of course.) This guy was my hero as a little goth kid. I didn't cheer for the heroes, I really cheered for him. He is so steeped in morbidness that he's almost a cliche. He worships Death his entire life. He kills his mother when he's a kid and makes it look like an accident because he's mad she brought him to life (this was one of the things I didn't see eye to eye with him on. That's your mom, dude.) Death appears before him as a woman and has him commit murder in her name. He gains the power of a god and snaps his fingers, instantly wiping out half the people in the universe. He does this all for her (well it's Death) and she kind of just shrugs.
Thanos had these bizarre theories about keeping the population of the universe down like deer populations or something. Again, it was so morbid, but even back then I saw it as a love story. Of course the heroes win and everything is fixed, including all of the people that died, but the point is he learned he couldn't please her even by becoming a god. At the end of the story, he's renounces death worshiping and becomes a farmer. It was a great ending, but of course the original story made so much money that there are 2 sequels.
8. Strangers in Paradise. This is another favorite that came out about the same time as Bone. I have read this entire series. It loses direction at spots, but it's such an emotionally charged story that you will remember it for a while. Highest recommendation. If you read this whole series and don't at least tear up a few times, I would raise my eyebrows at you a little.
9. Transformers.
10. Ultimate Spider-Man
11. Ghost World
12. Sin City
13. Watchmen
14. Persepolis
15. Maus
16. Superman/Madman Hullabaloo
17. Big Guy and Rusty the Robot
18. Gon
19. Batman
20. Crisis on Infinite Earths
21. Authority
22. Ultimates
23. Rasl.
24. Iron Man. I totally remembered Iron Man when I added the footnote about Thanos, so I'm extending the list by one. I've read maybe almost as many issues of Iron Man as X-Men. The movies get it totally right. By far the most accurate comic book to movie translation among super-hero movies. Ghost World is good, too, though it's different.
Post is part of The Scintilla Project.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Anger Managed in Time (Blog)
Talk about a time you lost your temper.
This happened just recently, and I remember it because it hadn't happened in a while. I was doing a baseball draft for this season's fantasy baseball. It was in the middle of the draft and my computer started freezing up. There's only a minute to make picks, so I missed a few picks and they were auto selected for me based on what Yahoo ranked these players.
Obviously, this was no big deal. It's just for fun, I'm not losing any money over it, and it's just a game. But I got mad. I mean I was cursing mad. I felt my blood pressure going up and I was frustrated. It seems funny and silly to think about it now, and the picks that were not made by me were actually pretty good ones, but I definitely lost my temper.
The bad thing about losing your temper is that it can mess up your whole day. I've written about my younger days a little here, and there were times when I was very angry. It usually came from being depressed and not knowing how to deal with it. Again, I'm an expert at it now, dealing with stress, though that's not to say that I don't get depressed or stressed out anymore, because I do. But you carry it with you if you get angry, and it's a lot easier in life if you learn to laugh some things off.
It's quite all right to be down sometimes. I don't think you revel in it, but it's an unrealistic expectation to be up all the time. I think you can shoot for most of the time, and you would be doing okay.
I used to lose my temper with people I cared about. If a friend was doing something that I thought was stupid, I would let her know. I learned that that was the worst thing I could do probably, and that I should just listen sometimes, or at least wait until my opinion was asked for.
I try to be honest about myself. I would never say I don't worry about things that seem stupid or silly to someone observing me from an outside perspective. I over-analyze things a lot, and I sometimes expect everything to mean something. Sometimes a horse is just a horse, though.
I'm going on a tangent a little, but what I'm trying to say is that emotions and temper and control and patience are all things that you constantly work on. Even the most patient and well-balanced people in the world could stand to work on something. I think it's okay to lose control of your emotions from time to time, but making a habit of it is just bad for you. Learn to laugh at yourself.
This post is part of The Scintilla Project.
This happened just recently, and I remember it because it hadn't happened in a while. I was doing a baseball draft for this season's fantasy baseball. It was in the middle of the draft and my computer started freezing up. There's only a minute to make picks, so I missed a few picks and they were auto selected for me based on what Yahoo ranked these players.
Obviously, this was no big deal. It's just for fun, I'm not losing any money over it, and it's just a game. But I got mad. I mean I was cursing mad. I felt my blood pressure going up and I was frustrated. It seems funny and silly to think about it now, and the picks that were not made by me were actually pretty good ones, but I definitely lost my temper.
The bad thing about losing your temper is that it can mess up your whole day. I've written about my younger days a little here, and there were times when I was very angry. It usually came from being depressed and not knowing how to deal with it. Again, I'm an expert at it now, dealing with stress, though that's not to say that I don't get depressed or stressed out anymore, because I do. But you carry it with you if you get angry, and it's a lot easier in life if you learn to laugh some things off.
It's quite all right to be down sometimes. I don't think you revel in it, but it's an unrealistic expectation to be up all the time. I think you can shoot for most of the time, and you would be doing okay.
I used to lose my temper with people I cared about. If a friend was doing something that I thought was stupid, I would let her know. I learned that that was the worst thing I could do probably, and that I should just listen sometimes, or at least wait until my opinion was asked for.
I try to be honest about myself. I would never say I don't worry about things that seem stupid or silly to someone observing me from an outside perspective. I over-analyze things a lot, and I sometimes expect everything to mean something. Sometimes a horse is just a horse, though.
I'm going on a tangent a little, but what I'm trying to say is that emotions and temper and control and patience are all things that you constantly work on. Even the most patient and well-balanced people in the world could stand to work on something. I think it's okay to lose control of your emotions from time to time, but making a habit of it is just bad for you. Learn to laugh at yourself.
This post is part of The Scintilla Project.
What's my Age Again? (Blog)
What is it that you're sure you'll never forget about being this age, or an age of your choice?
I think I try to forget my age. It's there, I know it, but I don't want to think about it. I'm 34, but I don't even know what that means. Should I feel old? Because I usually don't. I think I will remember turning 30 maybe, but just because I was worried about it. After it happened, there were some good things that happened that let me know that it wasn't the end of the world.
I write a lot about mellowing out, and you have to. Yes, again, I'm not perfect. I get angry and frustrated. But nowhere near like I used to. Not even close.
I remember being 17 and angry at life. I remember being 21 even, and frustrated. It felt so good when I started to realize that I didn't have to be like that all of the time. But now, things are good. There are things I would change about my youth, but I like where I'm at. There are things I would change about me now, and I am and can, but I'm happy.
I would say my memory is changing, but I don't want to say I'm losing my memory. I do still remember things, lots of things, but I'm learning that not everything is important to remember. I've read so much lately about memory being this imperfect thing that it almost seems silly to rely so much on memory. You don't remember things exactly as they happened.
I do enjoy being told that I don't look my age, though, and I don't. I'm not trying to be vain or anything, it's just true. I suppose it will catch up to me some day, and there are times now I don't even get carded for 21 and over type things, but I still get mistaken for younger.
I think I do remember a time not too long before my last birthday when someone had my age pegged almost exactly right. It felt a little disappointing to have someone guess close to my exact age. It was a woman who was older than me, so maybe she was just good at guessing from personalities is what I told myself.
I like the age I'm at. Again, I like where I'm at. It could be better, yes, but this is a good time for me.
This post is for The Scintilla Project.
I think I try to forget my age. It's there, I know it, but I don't want to think about it. I'm 34, but I don't even know what that means. Should I feel old? Because I usually don't. I think I will remember turning 30 maybe, but just because I was worried about it. After it happened, there were some good things that happened that let me know that it wasn't the end of the world.
I write a lot about mellowing out, and you have to. Yes, again, I'm not perfect. I get angry and frustrated. But nowhere near like I used to. Not even close.
I remember being 17 and angry at life. I remember being 21 even, and frustrated. It felt so good when I started to realize that I didn't have to be like that all of the time. But now, things are good. There are things I would change about my youth, but I like where I'm at. There are things I would change about me now, and I am and can, but I'm happy.
I would say my memory is changing, but I don't want to say I'm losing my memory. I do still remember things, lots of things, but I'm learning that not everything is important to remember. I've read so much lately about memory being this imperfect thing that it almost seems silly to rely so much on memory. You don't remember things exactly as they happened.
I do enjoy being told that I don't look my age, though, and I don't. I'm not trying to be vain or anything, it's just true. I suppose it will catch up to me some day, and there are times now I don't even get carded for 21 and over type things, but I still get mistaken for younger.
I think I do remember a time not too long before my last birthday when someone had my age pegged almost exactly right. It felt a little disappointing to have someone guess close to my exact age. It was a woman who was older than me, so maybe she was just good at guessing from personalities is what I told myself.
I like the age I'm at. Again, I like where I'm at. It could be better, yes, but this is a good time for me.
This post is for The Scintilla Project.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Trapped in a Box (Blog)
What are your simplest pleasures? Go beyond description and into showing the experience of each indulgence.
I would like to think all of my pleasures are simple, but this is most likely not true. I like reading, though that pleasure has its complexities. I like watching television, and I think that that is a simple pleasure, or at least a simple minded pleasure. So much of television is just fluff, or lacking substance. I'm not trying to sound like a grumpy old man, though maybe I will, or maybe I am, but a lot of what is on television now is devoid of substance. And I know this and still watch it.
I am nowhere near as bad as I used to be, or so I like to tell myself. I still watch a few shows that will make me seem like a hypocrite for the things I'm saying about television. I have watched Jersey Shore before, more than once. More than five times actually. I regularly watch judge shows on my days off, and sometimes even when I'm not off if I have the time. I watch Family Guy, American Dad, and Simpsons. Family Guy is a show that I watch that I think is funny, but every once in a while will have this moment that I wonder why I'm watching it. If you find yourself having opinions about people, places, and things that you didn't think up yourself, and that maybe don't make sense, you might be watching too much t.v.
I like watching certain mindless things because I would like to just shut off my brain for a half hour. Do I know that watching Wipeout is not enriching my mind? Sure, but maybe I just want to veg out like Cher from Clueless.
I've mentioned a few, but reality shows are all over the channels now. These shows have writers. Some of them are no more authentic than a night of professional wrestling. I watch Pawn Stars sometimes, and I've seen Storage Wars. These shows are successful because these people are good actors. I'm not necessarily questioning the authenticity of the experience, though I do think some things that happen seem a little too convenient to be true, but the shows are recreating an experience. It's pretty hard to capture every interesting moment in the everyday life of a pawn shop. One might think there are not many of these moments, yet people are watching this show. The characters are likable. However much you may watch and enjoy this show (and I'm including myself as a viewer), you are watching a production. I can't know that everything is authentic of course, but I do think that at least a touch of it is somewhat staged by the nature of the beast.
(Specifically, I find it hard to believe when the Pawn Star employees and owners let a customer know when something is worth more money than they are asking. Maybe I'm wrong, but most pawn shops I've ever been to would just keep quiet and buy it. Though perhaps a good reputation for honesty is what makes this particular pawn shop so successful perhaps. Repeat business is never bad.)
There is another type of reality show that's been around for longer than any other form is hardly ever attacked or criticized in the same way the others are: sports. Essentially, sporting events that are televised are reality shows. Are these games productions too? I think you have to conclude that they are, in a sense.
A sport that I watch is professional basketball, and the sport has certainly had its share of controversy in recent years. I get into watching basketball. I yell at the t.v. sometimes. I stand up for plays like I'm there. I believe that it is happening and the games have meaning. But it's true that popular players get preferential treatment in big games, referees have been caught gambling on games, and certain teams always catch the breaks (at least according to Mark Cuban, once upon a time). Who can say if the NBA is not as orchestrated an event as, say, the WWE? This is certainly not an original thought, as many have written books on this matter. Am I laughing at the people who watch "reality," when I should be wondering why I am so quick to swallow the pill, too?
Whatever the case, I think television viewers want to believe what they are watching, even if it isn't true. Wrestling fans seem to have a firm grasp on the reality of reality television. I've talked to fans of the previously mentioned WWE, and they will discuss with you the techniques that wrestlers use in the ring in a way that lets you know that they know that it's all a show. (Let me say, there is nothing fake about the dangers these athletes face. I wouldn't want to get in the ring with any of them either.) But a fan of wrestling is aware that this is a production and enjoys it anyway.
This post is part of The Scintilla Project.
I would like to think all of my pleasures are simple, but this is most likely not true. I like reading, though that pleasure has its complexities. I like watching television, and I think that that is a simple pleasure, or at least a simple minded pleasure. So much of television is just fluff, or lacking substance. I'm not trying to sound like a grumpy old man, though maybe I will, or maybe I am, but a lot of what is on television now is devoid of substance. And I know this and still watch it.
I am nowhere near as bad as I used to be, or so I like to tell myself. I still watch a few shows that will make me seem like a hypocrite for the things I'm saying about television. I have watched Jersey Shore before, more than once. More than five times actually. I regularly watch judge shows on my days off, and sometimes even when I'm not off if I have the time. I watch Family Guy, American Dad, and Simpsons. Family Guy is a show that I watch that I think is funny, but every once in a while will have this moment that I wonder why I'm watching it. If you find yourself having opinions about people, places, and things that you didn't think up yourself, and that maybe don't make sense, you might be watching too much t.v.
I like watching certain mindless things because I would like to just shut off my brain for a half hour. Do I know that watching Wipeout is not enriching my mind? Sure, but maybe I just want to veg out like Cher from Clueless.
I've mentioned a few, but reality shows are all over the channels now. These shows have writers. Some of them are no more authentic than a night of professional wrestling. I watch Pawn Stars sometimes, and I've seen Storage Wars. These shows are successful because these people are good actors. I'm not necessarily questioning the authenticity of the experience, though I do think some things that happen seem a little too convenient to be true, but the shows are recreating an experience. It's pretty hard to capture every interesting moment in the everyday life of a pawn shop. One might think there are not many of these moments, yet people are watching this show. The characters are likable. However much you may watch and enjoy this show (and I'm including myself as a viewer), you are watching a production. I can't know that everything is authentic of course, but I do think that at least a touch of it is somewhat staged by the nature of the beast.
(Specifically, I find it hard to believe when the Pawn Star employees and owners let a customer know when something is worth more money than they are asking. Maybe I'm wrong, but most pawn shops I've ever been to would just keep quiet and buy it. Though perhaps a good reputation for honesty is what makes this particular pawn shop so successful perhaps. Repeat business is never bad.)
There is another type of reality show that's been around for longer than any other form is hardly ever attacked or criticized in the same way the others are: sports. Essentially, sporting events that are televised are reality shows. Are these games productions too? I think you have to conclude that they are, in a sense.
A sport that I watch is professional basketball, and the sport has certainly had its share of controversy in recent years. I get into watching basketball. I yell at the t.v. sometimes. I stand up for plays like I'm there. I believe that it is happening and the games have meaning. But it's true that popular players get preferential treatment in big games, referees have been caught gambling on games, and certain teams always catch the breaks (at least according to Mark Cuban, once upon a time). Who can say if the NBA is not as orchestrated an event as, say, the WWE? This is certainly not an original thought, as many have written books on this matter. Am I laughing at the people who watch "reality," when I should be wondering why I am so quick to swallow the pill, too?
Whatever the case, I think television viewers want to believe what they are watching, even if it isn't true. Wrestling fans seem to have a firm grasp on the reality of reality television. I've talked to fans of the previously mentioned WWE, and they will discuss with you the techniques that wrestlers use in the ring in a way that lets you know that they know that it's all a show. (Let me say, there is nothing fake about the dangers these athletes face. I wouldn't want to get in the ring with any of them either.) But a fan of wrestling is aware that this is a production and enjoys it anyway.
This post is part of The Scintilla Project.
"Reading" my Mind (Blog)
List the tribes you belong to: cultural, personal, literary, you get the drift. Talk about the experience of being in your element with your tribes.
Well, I think I belong to a literary tribe. I have enough friends that are into studying English, or read, or both, and I really feel like these are my people. I like people that challenge me. I want to be around people that are smarter than me, and I think English students and readers are intelligent people. I'm not saying that people who don't read are not intelligent, because many of them are, but I feel a special connection to people that read books and talk about them.
When I meet a woman for example, I am instantly more attracted if I find out she reads. I don't know if it works that I'm turned off if she doesn't, though maybe it does. I feel like there is a connection there that I want, and I want to be able to talk about books, share books, recommend books, and generally share a love of reading.
With school lately, I feel like i have neglected my reading, and I have only finished a handful of books compared to how much I had been reading last year. I took some classes last year that had me reading a book every week or better, and even then I checked out some books from the library to read on my own, too.
I'm not saying I'm the fastest reader, and maybe I'm not. I know sometimes I will set a book down for a long time and not read anything from it for weeks and even months sometimes. I do prefer to have a few books going at a time, and I do like the feeling of finishing a book. Finishing a book gives me this (false?) sense of accomplishment. Maybe I remember high school when I wouldn't finish books if I didn't like them. I certainly had books that I loved and would read all the way through, and I think I probably read most of what was assigned, but I can remember not finishing certain books because I didn't know how to manage my time.
I'm a lot better at time management now, and life in general. I am by no means an expert reader. or an expert at life for that matter, but I have figured some things out. You can't take things too seriously, or believe that they have any more impact then they really do when things don't go your way. Like I always say, I do lead a charmed life and I am very privileged to have incredible people in my life and to have more come in every year. I do feel like a part of a tribe with these people. I'm still looking for my own voice in a way, but I am happy.
Part of The Scintilla Project.
Well, I think I belong to a literary tribe. I have enough friends that are into studying English, or read, or both, and I really feel like these are my people. I like people that challenge me. I want to be around people that are smarter than me, and I think English students and readers are intelligent people. I'm not saying that people who don't read are not intelligent, because many of them are, but I feel a special connection to people that read books and talk about them.
When I meet a woman for example, I am instantly more attracted if I find out she reads. I don't know if it works that I'm turned off if she doesn't, though maybe it does. I feel like there is a connection there that I want, and I want to be able to talk about books, share books, recommend books, and generally share a love of reading.
With school lately, I feel like i have neglected my reading, and I have only finished a handful of books compared to how much I had been reading last year. I took some classes last year that had me reading a book every week or better, and even then I checked out some books from the library to read on my own, too.
I'm not saying I'm the fastest reader, and maybe I'm not. I know sometimes I will set a book down for a long time and not read anything from it for weeks and even months sometimes. I do prefer to have a few books going at a time, and I do like the feeling of finishing a book. Finishing a book gives me this (false?) sense of accomplishment. Maybe I remember high school when I wouldn't finish books if I didn't like them. I certainly had books that I loved and would read all the way through, and I think I probably read most of what was assigned, but I can remember not finishing certain books because I didn't know how to manage my time.
I'm a lot better at time management now, and life in general. I am by no means an expert reader. or an expert at life for that matter, but I have figured some things out. You can't take things too seriously, or believe that they have any more impact then they really do when things don't go your way. Like I always say, I do lead a charmed life and I am very privileged to have incredible people in my life and to have more come in every year. I do feel like a part of a tribe with these people. I'm still looking for my own voice in a way, but I am happy.
Part of The Scintilla Project.
In the Middle of Believing (Blog)
Talk about an experience with faith, your own or someone else's
My parents tried to raise me as a Christian. Most of the parts of my name have Biblical origins. About the time I was allowed to decide, though, I stopped going to church. I think it works for some people, but maybe not for me. When I say "works," I mean that it enriches their lives. I have had positive experiences with church, and I have met some very good people who were church goers. I'm not saying that religion is no good for anyone. I think a religious person with great values can be a rewarding friend to have.
Lately I have gravitated towards atheists and agnostics, though. This is not to say that I fall concretely into one of these categories myself, because I don't, but I can appreciate the sensibilities of these people. To be clear, I believe in something, but I don't think it's any conventional idea of God, or at least the Christian version anyway.
I think there is a balance, and I think that karma, or retribution exists. I think there is something to law of attraction maybe, but some of the people that write about that quote the Bible, too. I would like to have faith in something, whether it be a person, or love in general, or my own abilities to get through life.
I sound like I'm describing the Force from Star Wars or something, but my ideas are that general at times. I believe in friendship and love, and I have faith that there are still good people in the world, even though I've met some that are not. I've written about being positive, and sometimes I am not always the most positive person. I do get angry, though I try not to. I'm human; I have emotions. Things upset me, people annoy me sometimes, I'm not always nice, and every once in a while I am selfish, jealous, envious, self-centered, and short-sighted. I try to make these the exception and not the rule, though. I know my own tendencies. I know myself. I try to compensate for tendencies towards imperfections that I'm aware of.
I do try to improve myself. I work on me all the time in a way. I think that's what religion is for sometimes, to work on being a better person. Of course, it's not that way for everyone, and some religions concentrate on judging others too much for my tastes. I suppose I'm straddling the fence of religious conversion, and maybe I'm pissing off both sides of the believer/agnostic dichotomy. Maybe my parents would be sad to know I don't worship their God necessarily, and my atheists friends laugh that I believe there is a mystical book in the afterlife that lists every good and bad deed I've ever done and details everything about my life (a book which I totally hope exists).
This post is for The Scintilla Project.
My parents tried to raise me as a Christian. Most of the parts of my name have Biblical origins. About the time I was allowed to decide, though, I stopped going to church. I think it works for some people, but maybe not for me. When I say "works," I mean that it enriches their lives. I have had positive experiences with church, and I have met some very good people who were church goers. I'm not saying that religion is no good for anyone. I think a religious person with great values can be a rewarding friend to have.
Lately I have gravitated towards atheists and agnostics, though. This is not to say that I fall concretely into one of these categories myself, because I don't, but I can appreciate the sensibilities of these people. To be clear, I believe in something, but I don't think it's any conventional idea of God, or at least the Christian version anyway.
I think there is a balance, and I think that karma, or retribution exists. I think there is something to law of attraction maybe, but some of the people that write about that quote the Bible, too. I would like to have faith in something, whether it be a person, or love in general, or my own abilities to get through life.
I sound like I'm describing the Force from Star Wars or something, but my ideas are that general at times. I believe in friendship and love, and I have faith that there are still good people in the world, even though I've met some that are not. I've written about being positive, and sometimes I am not always the most positive person. I do get angry, though I try not to. I'm human; I have emotions. Things upset me, people annoy me sometimes, I'm not always nice, and every once in a while I am selfish, jealous, envious, self-centered, and short-sighted. I try to make these the exception and not the rule, though. I know my own tendencies. I know myself. I try to compensate for tendencies towards imperfections that I'm aware of.
I do try to improve myself. I work on me all the time in a way. I think that's what religion is for sometimes, to work on being a better person. Of course, it's not that way for everyone, and some religions concentrate on judging others too much for my tastes. I suppose I'm straddling the fence of religious conversion, and maybe I'm pissing off both sides of the believer/agnostic dichotomy. Maybe my parents would be sad to know I don't worship their God necessarily, and my atheists friends laugh that I believe there is a mystical book in the afterlife that lists every good and bad deed I've ever done and details everything about my life (a book which I totally hope exists).
This post is for The Scintilla Project.
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